If you find something works WITH YOUR SPOUSE keep at it.
Disagree on the family member thing. Got nothing to do with your relationship with your wife.
Face the real issues, Kevin. Quit avoiding them and focusing on peripheral things like whether the church thinks you're married or whether your MIL likes you ....
Eliminate the noise. Ask yourself the hard questions. Take a good look in the mirror. Face your fears.
Man up, for crying out loud.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.