The thing you need to keep in mind... it took her months for her to decided to betray you and walk out... what makes you think an hour's epiphany during stress is going make her turn around?
No one said this was going to be easy. Just LISTEN and VALIDATE wherever you can.
Patience. Be compassionate. The 4C's all the way. She's in pain. Let her experience it. Don't succumb. She will RESPECT you for it. Don't give in to her demands. Hold onto your boundary ENFORCEMENTS firmly.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
Wow - this is getting good - I'm glad someone is coming to their senses. Someone on her said the Karma train has got to come for us - here it is for OB.
Listen to the guys OB - listen.
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
She called OM on speaker phone from my office told him to stop calling her and texting her no matter how innocent it is- don't.
Told him she was going to apologize to his W, and also tell her every time he tried to contact her from this point forward!
THAN She said - " You aren't worth it, I GET IT NOW! and if I hear any sh*t from this point forward you will not like the results, are we clear? And by the way my H is listening to this, we are in his office and he has my permission to kick your *ss if he hears any. Leave me and my family alone steer clear of us. I Mean It, I am so mad at you right now I could kick your *ss! Good bye!
She apologized to me again and said she felt better- Than asked if she could pick up kids.It's S8's birthday so I let her.
BTW - I have probably said 50 words this whole time. She has been repeating her apologies and breaking down and starting over again, than she called him. I couldn't believe it!
M43 W43 D11 S7 M18 T20 WAW is back & trying (no she was lying) Close to callin' it busted but.... watching Whatever the outcome - It was a choice.
She said - " You aren't worth it, I GET IT NOW! and if I hear any sh*t from this point forward you will not like the results, are we clear?
These words raise my antenna...
Originally Posted By: overburdened
I Mean It, I am so mad at you right now I could kick your *ss!
So... why is she mad at him? My guess is he wasn't going to leave his family for her.
Originally Posted By: overburdened
It's S8's birthday so I let her.
Congratulations on your son's birthday OB!
Originally Posted By: overburdened
BTW - I have probably said 50 words this whole time.
AND THAT FOLKS IS HOW IT IS DONE! A leader's words are few, but well chosen and packed with meaning.
Congratulations to you on how you have handled yourself OB. I can't express how happy I am for you right now.
Now be cautious... you don't KNOW what exactly went down with her in the last few days. We can only speculate. I advise you to PROCEED WITH CAUTION at this point. You are NOT out of the woods yet. She has shown some promise so far. Let her live to her words.
You are STILL not her #1 choice at the moment. You need to be #1 and she has to prove it to you. So far everything she has done has been out of emotion. Be patient before you get your hopes up.
Wish I had better words to use right now to explain this better.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
AND THAT FOLKS IS HOW IT IS DONE! A leader's words are few, but well chosen and packed with meaning.
Congratulations to you on how you have handled yourself OB. I can't express how happy I am for you right now.
Now be cautious... you don't KNOW what exactly went down with her in the last few days. We can only speculate. I advise you to PROCEED WITH CAUTION at this point. You are NOT out of the woods yet. She has shown some promise so far. Let her live to her words.
You are STILL not her #1 choice at the moment. You need to be #1 and she has to prove it to you. So far everything she has done has been out of emotion. Be patient before you get your hopes up.
AGREE with all of that. Well-done AND be careful! I question whether her sudden "getting it" has only to do with a spat (at least) or OM DUMPING HER (at most), and once he comes groveling back to her and says all the right things, she might have a change of heart.
It is imperative that you go for TOTAL TRANSPARENCY at this point. NOW is the time that it is done!!!
AND THAT FOLKS IS HOW IT IS DONE! A leader's words are few, but well chosen and packed with meaning.
Congratulations to you on how you have handled yourself OB. I can't express how happy I am for you right now.
Now be cautious... you don't KNOW what exactly went down with her in the last few days. We can only speculate. I advise you to PROCEED WITH CAUTION at this point. You are NOT out of the woods yet. She has shown some promise so far. Let her live to her words.
You are STILL not her #1 choice at the moment. You need to be #1 and she has to prove it to you. So far everything she has done has been out of emotion. Be patient before you get your hopes up.
AGREE with all of that. Well-done AND be careful! I question whether her sudden "getting it" has only to do with a spat (at least) or OM DUMPING HER (at most), and once he comes groveling back to her and says all the right things, she might have a change of heart.
It is imperative that you go for TOTAL TRANSPARENCY at this point. NOW is the time that it is done!!!
Puppy
I asked her tonite @ party she was kiinda reminiscing @ that conversation, I said "WOW You were mad."
She said " Believe it or not we never talked about you or us, he always talked about how bad his M was and he got me trapped. I felt sorry for him, but as I was pulling away he started talking about you. Last nite I thought about it and said to myself that was bullsh*t. I can't believe I fell for it what a piece of crap. God I can't believe I fell for it"
M43 W43 D11 S7 M18 T20 WAW is back & trying (no she was lying) Close to callin' it busted but.... watching Whatever the outcome - It was a choice.
I'm glad things are looking up for you.