Healing my Heart part 8

[fightingirish]

Update~

H Never did cancel the trip. I had a feeling that he would have the nerve too.. although if he did he would have made it my fault.

S7 over heard me talking to him and asked if the trip was going to be cancelled and starting getting really upset.. I just told him not to worry and everything would be fine.

I intially wanted to cancel the trip, but seeing how upset S7 got, I just can't break his heart, as much as I am not liking H right now, I will set everything aside so they have a nice time.

I am looking for an IC for myself right now. I have to make some more phone calls regarding my ins. and what they will cover, but I plan on going when I get back.

Its so depressing that I have gotten to this point in my life where I wait until he leaves for work and I breathe a sigh of relief... I don't want to feel this way, but there is just no other way to feel with him. He was barking at me this morning about the kids having a limited "food" choice and that they have to start eating other things... DUH.... a little help here.. Im raising these kids alone basically and when he doesn't like something, he yells at me instead of supporting me. I was trying to get S7 to eat a good cereal and he kept on giving me excuses, and then H started yelling that its my fault he's not eating it...

UGH....

I will never do anything right in his eyes, and if I do, he certainly won't be making any nice comments to the fact.

I can't win.

[Hope4us]

TAL, Ug. Did you see a lawyer? What did he say?

I'm going to be harsh, but you know it's because I care.....

Once again you fall on the sword for the kids. Admirable? Yes. Putting yourself second (or third) again? Yes.

Look, I'm as pro marriage as they come, but when is it enough? Don't you think it's time for you to feel good about yourself?

Ok, 2x4 over.

Take care.

[NoCodeBlues]

H4U, I'm going to disagree with you. It is precisely because a parent starts thinking solely of themself that M's get into these predicaments. Irish does not need to contribute to this situation herself -- her H is being foolish enough for the both of them already. I understand your point against sacrificing for the kids at the expense of one's self -- but the point so many people don't understand is that such sacrifice is understandable and reasonable (laudable even) just so long as the person making that sacrifice is fully conscious of that cost and is willing to make it. And it's not for us to gainsay it if they do.

I think there just needs to be a balance between the needs of the individual and the needs of their family/M/children/etc. There are plenty of siren calls in our modern society to chuck the kids and family as it is.

Irish, I applaud your seeking out an IC. I think that person(s) will help you to sort things out. They need to take into account the things you value and hold dear, and to thus help you to see a path in life that best accommodates all of them. You set the objectives and they are supposed to help you chart a course.


Hugs and blessings.

[Hope4us]

NC, I don't disagree. Heck, I lived in a situation for a long time, precisely for the kids.

No one is accusing TAL of not thinking about her kids. She's been doing that for a long time. I just feel like TAL has been at this soooooo long and it never gets better, with an H that as she points out repeatedly, doesn't give a flying F about her, and she keeps making that sacrifice for the kids. Laudable? Yes. But at some point it has to begin to affect your own health and well being.

Sorry to talk about your sitch on your sitch TAL. You know I only want what's best for you. Just seems like one of those situations where the same thing keeps getting done over and over expecting different results.

And I agree. IC is a wonderful idea. Help you sort it all out where you can then make the best decision for both you and your kids.

[JAK58]

Tal ,

Call me
JAK

[fightingirish]

Thank you for all of your comment, and cares.

And I know what your saying hope.. and its logical, but its not something I am able to do. I am very conscious of what am I doing, but it also doesn't make it any easier.

As much of a jerk as my H is, the boys love him, and would be worse off if I was to up and leave with them, uprooting them from school, their friends and their stability in their own house.

The lawyer I spoke to basically said that I can't make him leave and vice versa. That I can leave but as far as support/money goes the courts would decide and frankly I don't have the means to wait for that.

At this juncture, I don't know if things will ever change between h and I, but I do know it would not be better for my kids if we were to leave. So I am in for the long haul, how ever tough it may be, its worth it for them.

Im not looking for a pat on the shoulder or anything close to that, god knows, All I want is for them to have a healthy childhood and be happy.

My saving grace is that H is not home alot , he works a lot and that helps me keep my sanity.

Don't get me wrong, I think about what is going to happend when they are grown and im here alone with H... God help me.. if I am able to leave then, who is going to want me then...

this is all so hard.

But we are still leaving for Florida tomorrow. The boys are so excited. I just want things to go smoothly. Im praying that everything goes ok while we are gone.

still on the look out for a good IC that my insurance will take.. as soon as I find one hopefully I can get some outside perspective on my life.

I will talk to you guys when I return..

Thanks again.

tal

[Yoyowife]

(((((TAL))))
Hope your trip is a magical one!

[Dr LOve]

I think about what is going to happend when they are grown and im here alone with H... God help me.. if I am able to leave then, who is going to want me then...

Tal.... Someone like me will take ya...5 more years and my son will be 18.....Do we have a date?

Doc

[NoCodeBlues]

Irish, I agree with Doc's sentiments -- you have nothing to worry about here.

[Sugar and Spice]

Tal you are a beautiful person inside and out. I hope you find an IC for you and see some positives from it.

Keep your chin up dear and have fun with your boys in the Magic Kingdom!