When we come here, the majority of us feel like you do right now. Lost, scared, up and down.
The reason that those of us who have been here a long time tell you the things that we do, is because, whether we have saved our M, gotten divorced, or are still in limbo land, we have all been through the process.
At some point along the way, all of the two by fours start to sink in. The words start to make sense.
When I first started to GAL, I hated it. I hated every second that I was doing something without my H. But then, slowly, I learned I was enjoying myself, not just pretending. Then I started trying new things. Step by step.
It is a process. Healing, learning, living. You can and will be amazed at the person you become. The lost parts of yourself you find. The new parts of yourself you will discover. The things you may have always wanted to do but didn't because your wife may not have liked it, you will find you begin to give yourself permission for.
It is then, that you will begin to appreciate this for the crazy mixed up gift that it really is. And you will begin to see that it isn't your marital status that defines if you are a success at DBing or not. That, unfortunately is not something we can control solely by ourselves. There are two people in a relationship and in the end, it takes two people to fix it. However, if and when that time should come, the Bradley you bring into the relationship, will be a much better man.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
