I did tell her no. I was just pointing out that it is just one more indicator of an affair.
Not necessarily; she may have been genuinely curious if you'd be willing to share her (or yourself) with other people.
Personally, that's not why I got married.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
I have no problem spending the money. My W is more important to me than any amount of money. I don't think twice about spending whatever it takes to save the marriage.
Admittedly it was a stupid comment. Despair can make you say stupid things.
My wife sent me an email regarding the separation agreement and getting the very last of her items. That was Monday.
In light of the fact of her affair, I didn't know how to respond. I waited three days and sent her an email saying "Thanks for the email and sorry for the delay in the response. Please understand I need some time to process things."
Don't let your emotions get the best of you. Self-control is essential in DBing. Don't say anything out of anger or frustration. Always showcase yourself in the best light.
Just my .02
JR
Me:44 WAW:43 Children S13,S11,S7 Married 17 yrs W left JUN 08 W filed JAN 09 D proceedings dismissed AUG 09 W refiles 1 MAR 11
What should I have done... just emailed her back to keep the details moving on the separation agreement? It seems the more I act as if, the faster she speeds towards divorce.
I acted as if in our first counselling session. She commented "wow, seems everything is fine with you."... then i weakened and said "ups and downs, its a rollercoaster." Probably screwed up there too.
Listen - she is going to do whatever she wants to do right? If she wants this divorce there's nothing you can do!
You need to work on YOU - don't let her see you down and out and pathetic! I'm not trying to be mean here I just want you to know how important it is for her to see that you do "seem" ok. It is upsetting to WAS when their LBS is not an emotional wreck - it really keeps them thinking.
Stay strong - do you have the books are you reading here and learning?
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
Thank you for the strong comments luvless. I need them.
I was doing very well.. But since Sunday and confirmation of the affair, I went downhill. It made me just think how hopeless things seem.
I just don't want to do anything wrong. If it ends, it ends. But I don't want it to be because I had a chance and screwed it up.
I will be fine either way. I know that. I'm 28, good career, friends, family. But I love my wife and want to do what I can to reconcile.
I guess the other thing, is waiting for the results from the PI searches to come back per Puppies recommendations. It keeps me emotionally involved, keeps me from truly moving on.
