He is disrespecting your feelings, that is why you are so upset. It's completely understandable. You set the boundary that you need complete transparency and he is not giving that to you. This pushes your buttons that he is "sliding" back into your life rather than coming in with complete respect and a hundred percent commitment.
So, how do you enforce this boundary? You have come so far with him, it may be scary to rock the boat. If he doesn't want to listen and and act on your transparency request, you have to set a boundary. How can you do that?
You know me = the only thing that works is walking away and giving it the 24/48 wait. I imagine this is tough if he's only visiting for a short time, but don't think of it like you will lose him if you set this boundary, think of it that you will gain his respect and have a stronger marriage. Sometimes, they test us to see if we will put up with the same old cr*p, and unconsciously they want the boundary. Sometimes they are pushing us to see if we will get upset and yell so they can point a finger and say "See? This is why I left." Think of it like he's testing you. You need to be the strong one here and be firm about your boundary. This will demonstrate your changes more than promises ever will. This will show him you are stronger now.
One of the veterans here always says to state calmly, "When you do X, it makes me feel Y, and I will do Z". Repeat if necessary.
What are your ideas on how to set the boundary? What has worked with him in the past? What hasn't worked? Let's figure out a plan as this can't go unnoticed.
