Calling out the Piecers

[Gnosis]

She feels she's made her apologies and all is well with the world.

Then she has not learned a darned thing, has she?

I on the other hand have reached an impasse with her at the moment and my head won't stop swimming.

Then get busy... GAL. Fix something around your cousin's house.

These are huge issues that came about today and painted an insight to her that as I said, makes me think she still does not see the full impact and severity of what she's done here.

Yup.

Then I myself question her motives at this moment.

I believe she is sincere.

Am I being a fool? Am I so blind? Am I just setting myself (and kids) up for another heartache?

Only if she has not learned her lesson. i.e. You've been teaching her "Easy come, easy go"

Or, is she really that niave to the consequence of her A and honestly thinks "sorry" is all that is required as a remedy?

Yes, she is that naive... and YOU have let her get away with it.

Throughout your entire ordeal Dylan, I've not seen any indication of you letting her stew in her crap and live with the consequences of her actions. This is WHY we were all SCREAMING, "Take it easy! Baby steps, etc."

Just relax. Not all is lost. Pull back. Go dark for a few days. Tell her:

"In light of recent events I need time to think."

"I'm not sure how I feel about you right now."

"I need time to decide what I want."

"W, please leave me alone. I need some space..."

It's time for you to go WAS and let her pursue you.

[dday101798]

Pulling back, not a bad idea. But, 2 problems.

1-It's finally been warm enough for a few days now so I need to bury my cat by her house.

2-We're going to church on Sunday and spending a good chunk of the day as a family day.

I'm not sure how long you've been following along, but I've let her "stew in her own crap" for the better part of a year.

[mishka422]

Or, is she really that niave to the consequence of her A and honestly thinks "sorry" is all that is required as a remedy?

Yes, she is that naive. She has no idea that there are any real consequences because you haven't given her any. As Gnosis said, as soon as OM was gone (or so it seems) then you came running to the rescue. There is a time and place for pulling the 'knight in shining armor' act, but this is not it. She has to learn what it is to stand on her own two feet and not have you to turn to. You never gave her that opportunity.

Also, Dylan, buddy, pal............STAND UP TO HER! She wants back in.......she has to prove it. Be totally transparent, go to counseling - immediately - not just MC but she needs some serious IC. She is codependent in a BAD way.

You know I hate to deliver 2x4's especially when I have NO room to talk, but I just felt it was necessary this time.

[dday101798]

I did say 2x4's were expected.

For some reason I'm getting a mental memory of the scene from the original "Airplane!" movie where the one female passanger starts to freak out and the entire passanger manifest is standing in line waiting to beat the crap out of her with bats and pipes and stuff.

[mishka422]

ROTFLMAO!!!

[Gnosis]

ROFLMAO.

That's us... I'm just waiting for everyone else to have their turn first.

[mishka422]

Yeah, I'm back at the end of the line myself.

[dday101798]

Chickens.

Heh, haven't heard from W since earlier this morning. She didn't even send her customary text at 10:17 either. She did a few minutes later, but I was busy. So she sent "are you mad at me", I said no, just my head is swimming and I have people telling me what I 'dont' want to hear. She replied, "about me" and I left it at that and it's been quiet city ever since.

[Gnosis]

So she sent "are you mad at me", I said no, just my head is swimming and I have people telling me what I 'dont' want to hear. She replied, "about me" and I left it at that and it's been quiet city ever since.

See... your W knows you well!

Reply with: "What makes you think my world revolves around you? Other stuff."

[dday101798]

Reply with: "What makes you think my world revolves around you? Other stuff."

Ummm, G my brother, that type of negativety, especially in text form, you might as well have a framed copy of your divorce decree hanging over the fireplace to signify how much you could care less about your X when you are at this stage of things.

With mine, whom I know well, her response to that would have been 'go to hell jerk'.