My wife's biggest complaint apparently is that I didn't purchase a new bed room suite when she asked, and she doesn't know who she is. This just doesn't make any sense to me. I know she is lonely and hurting, hurting deeply. But this destruction of our family and financial future for the kids is just wrong. I've been taking care of her for the past 17 years. What exactly merits this?
I snapped a little tonight. Not really a confrontation. me: "I just saw the divorce papers. You are asking for primary custody!" W: "no, joint" me: "I quote: joint legal, primary physical custody" much later, w: "I have emailed them about the wording"
My wife's only stated marital complaints -- when her parents, and our adult daughters asked her -- during her affair were:
1. Puppy spends too much time on his computer. (This was our nightly routine, with her on one couch watching TV and me on the other couch, on my laptop and sometimes also watching TV. Granted, not a real-good recipe for marital intimacy and excitement, but I was IN THE SAME ROOM with her, like SIX FEET AWAY!).
2. Puppy spends too much time "at those damned ballfields." (I coach my kids' baseball teams; this was time I was spending WITH OUR CHILDREN, not out at bars, or golfing with buddies. Meanwhile, she's spending her time meeting OM in darkened parking lots, and hooking up at his friend's house for midday sex).
Oh, and she asked for "immediate, exclusive, temporary residence of the marital home." I said "YOU have an affair, and you're kicking ME out of our home?" She knew we were having severe financial problems, and I couldn't afford anywhere else to live. She was basically either trying to kick me out on the streets, or I'd have to go live with her parents). She said "I didn't know the lawyer put that in there," and "Oh, she (the lawyer) told me that's just stuff we put in there as our opening position. You're supposed to negotiate with me, and offer something else."
