She must be seeing a lawyer...what now?

[Ready2Change]

The kids don't see me angry at W.

Expressing your feelings in positive ways helps the kids.

I ask my kids "Is it OK to be happy? (YES) Then it is OK to be angry" We talk about is it better to walk away and deal with your anger or hit someone etc.....

"I am very angry about mom's decision, but I respect her bla bla bal...."

"I am sad about the way things are right now....."

I've been defending her to them this entire time, trying to keep their relationship with W intact.

I strongly suggest that you stay out of the middle of their relationship. (Look up the victim triangle). Work on you relationship with the kids. Let her be responsible for her relationship with them. Validate your kids. Good place to practice.

"You look angry."
"how does that make you feel."
"I can see why that would make you angry"
"How can I help"