LolaL, Wow, that is it, you sumed all up in one word "Pride". IT is the beast, Do you think it gets harder as you get older? That is, is it harder to suck up your pride as you get older? I feel the opposite, I have done nothing but suck up my pride and admit what I have done wrong in the past with my W, my M, my children, etc. and it was easier than if I was 15 years younger.
Yes and no.
I do think the pride beast grows stronger as we get older, and become more accomplished. There are certain things that we SHOULD be proud of. Pride in self is very important for good self esteem. But when it is taken to far, it becomes a beast.
As long as you keep it in perspective, I think pride is a good thing. It takes a very strong person to swallow that pride and say I'm sorry, I was wrong. The problem is that a mentally healthy person will be able to, and in today's day and age, there ain't many left. Society has made so many mental dysfunctions that you can literally go to a book and pick one now, and say that is the excuse for my bad behavior.
And so then the pride beast takes over, and before that person realizes it, pride rules them.
I remember my H once telling me he could not accept the filing fee from me to file the D because it was a matter of pride. And I though WTF do you have to be proud about?
Again, who knows. Right now, they are a bunch of mutant zombies.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
