Mixed Signals or is this Limbo Land

[MHL]

2 days after the "I done" MC sessiion. Basically, I am dropping the rope and I am feeling okay. Not missing her, not wondering what she is doing just watching and waiting and GALing. Have to spend a good portion of the weekend getting documents together for L, I am going to set aside 2 hours each day and then do stuff for me, plan on running, workout, playoffs. Got to also do some work on D13 computer, more than enough to do.

My W, usually calls everymorning at 6:40 before S9 gets on bus at 6:50. One of the things I said in MC session is how little time she spends with S9. (4.5 hours last week, Zero hours the week before). Somehow, I knew this morning she would not make the call, I don't suggest to S9 that we call unless he says something. So I put him on the bus and then my W calls at 7am, and asks in a groggy voice if he is gone yet? (she knows when he gets on the bus). She proceeds to tell me she overslept (2nd time this week) b/c she took a sleeping pill.

She sounded like she had let me down, or not risen to my expectation, I feel like she is still seeking my approval, leftover issue from marriage. She feels guilty I guess, what do I do or say to her to break this? I don't want her to feel accountable to me anymore, all that does is make her feel I am still controlling her, I stopped all that crap months ago. I know that as long as she feels accountable to me she will resist any feelings of wanting to come back to me. All I said is, "why don't you call him when he gets home from school" and shut up, did a pregnent pause. She said okay and I said okay, and I will talk to you later. (cutting it short) there was a pause as if she was expecting me to say more and she said okay, bye. I will write it down and forget about it, I can't change what she feels but I don't want further aide in those feelings I think she is experiencing.