Calling out the Piecers

[dday101798]

Uggh, every little bit of 'work' just about went right out the window this morning. It's still not done in my mindset, but 'patched up' for now so we'll play nice for now.

Starts off with last night I was rather busy making dinner, a new cajun dish I was trying, turned out awesome. Anyway, W called jsut as I was ready to throw the chicken on the grill and let her know I didn't have much time. She had a distant attitude about her again, but was fine when I said I'd call her back later.

And I did, and got S12. After talking with S12 a bit, I continually asked him where W was and if I could speak with her, each time he said she's laying down in bed and just minute and wondered off into another conversation and eventually put me to sleep.

So this morning I wake up to a text blasting me for not calling her again like I said I would. After taking my shower I get another text saying 'morning' and I called her. Right away she had a distant attitude again. I explained I did call and she says she's sorry, she found out after she sent the message. So I asked, what's still wrong then? Long story short, she was mad becasue she fell asleep again and had 3 different sets of plans she could have done last night, but "wasted the night away again".

The first 'plan' was the one that struck a chord, hanging out with OM's sister. So of course I coiled up a bit and W detected it and asked what was wrong. And I told her, as I did a month ago, even a year ago, I am simply not comfortable with any contact with any member of that family. This sent W on a rampage saying it was completely ridiculous I feel that way, they have been best friends forever and so on. And I said that is all well and good, but I told you month ago I am not happy with any member of that family, especially her, OUR MAID OF HONOR who did absolutely nothing to distrupt an A that destroyed our entire family and our lives forever with HER OWN BROTHER and my W.

She got pretty nasty about it, and I stayed calm and collected. But she demonstrated to me this morning that she still does not grasp the concept of how bad all of this really is. She still does not fully own up to what she's done and still has an undertone to her that says, "hey, my M wasn't working, so I ran off with womone else, it's ok".

Then to add insult to injury, W dove into what was supposed to DONE marital issues in saying that she can't make solid plans with her friends because everything with me is always so up in the air, like it always was and she's tired o fbeing "up my a$$" to have time for her friends and it's not fair to them.

My stomache just sank. I told her I am just simply not going to go about living life with being un-nerved and insecure. These are issues that we need to go to MC NOW in order for this to work. Some how I was being "mean" to her when I said her hap-hazzard way of saying that she's hanging out with OM's sister wiehter I like it or not is to me disrespectful. For crying out loud they had sex at her house

Anyway, I told her I ahd to go as I felt my blood pressure get out of hand and began shaking and didn't want to say anything destructive and I'd see her soon when I pick her up for work.

Within minutes she starts texing her apologies.

When I got there, she said she was sorry and understands where I'm coming from. But the next sentence later, I "have nothing to worry about" and W hangs out with OM's sister all the time and it's never been an issue. My only reply is the plain truth: "there is no issue for you (W), you see nothing wrong with it and you know wiether he is there or not, I don't. I am the one whe sits there every night wiehter I jsut left from here or went straight 'home' and have to wonder if OM is around or not. You have given me nothing to show me otherwise. And now it is to be construed that I am still a "inconvenience" to your social life? I'm sorry these are major issues".

All she could do was offer her apologies and state over and over that I have nothing to worry about, that she understands why I feel that way and that I am the only one she loves. Not good enough. Actions speak louder than words. I'm not seeing any actions. Her defiance to acknowledge seeing anything wrong and disrespecting my feelings on a situation she created on her own that cost myself, her and our kids a normal life FOREVER is unacceptable.

Words of encouragement welcome.

Hell even a blow to the head of a few 2x4's that I'm certain have ben waiting for this moment.