You just said you started question faith/religion when your M fell apart. Nothing wrong with that. You said you thought about the 3000 religions out there. So it sounds to me you picked one that supports your cause.
Fine - if you are not using the Church to avoid working on you then what *are* you doing to work on you?
Yes, part of DB is looking your best in what you like. Not what your W likes. You liked your Polo shirt just fine when you put it on today. You knew your W hates Polo shirts but you wore it anyway. It is only when you learned you might be seeing her that you decided you needed to change your shirt.
DB also includes setting boundaries.
Do you think ANYBODY gets married and thinks as they walk down the aisle.. "gee, I guess if this gets boring or hard we can always get divorced"? No, I doubt it but it divorce happens.
