Can't seem to move forward...Help!

[antlers]

stillalone and bright_new_day...good morning. Both of you ladies were victims of emotional abuse, and you walked on eggshells so much that you basically 'lost yourselves' in the marriages. You spent so much time and effort trying to keep him from getting pissed that you 'quit being you'...and walked on eggshells almost constantly...trying not to break em'!
That's a helluva way to live.
I believe both of you ladies, especially stillalone (only because you're not as far along in this crisis as bright_new_day is), would benefit from the book that I recommended earlier, 'Love Without Hurt' by Steven Stosney. It's a healing book...one that I'll recommend to anyone in or out of relationships. It's a book about you, and it'll help you to heal...and to understand.
I'm sorry you ladies had to live the way you did, and also that you're having to go through what you are.