Part III - At the crossroads

[FaithfulH]

LNMW,

On the one hand, I am sorry you find yourself in the financial and emotional situation you are in. On the other hand, my experience is that my greatest times of growth come in times of trials. I think the things you and your W both have to deal with......MUST be dealt with....whether you have the strength and maturity to do it now.....OR you delay it until your next relationship and deal with it then! I don't believe there is any way around it. She thinks YOU are the reason for her pain...you think SHE is the reason for your pain. Neither view is true! I pray that you don't give up on the hard work you started. In know it may feel like you are starting over at times.....but, you are not....as long as you and your W learn something, grow, and move forward. The greatest lesson I learned leading up to my reconciliation with my W was....I ONLY control MY actions. So, what are you gonna do, LNMW? I hope you "man up", acknowledge your contributions to the current situation, ask your W for forgiveness, and move forward to the awesome restoration that awaits. You got a taste of it for those 3 days you described. Oh....and, yes, your W is plenty at fault....but, I believe God is working on her too....so, let that be!

Also, I have to say that my sense is you are over-reacting to your financial situation. If you are within striking distance of being debt-free, I wonder if you are TOO concerned about finances. If I look back over the 30 years since I graduated from college, I can think of many times where I was VERY stressed about finances. In fact, in the grand scheme of that 30 years, we have done fine financially and no major tragedy has befallen us despite going through a separation, pending divorce, and job loss! Just make sure you have your whole financial situation in proper perspective!

Hope this helps!