Well, I lost my post. It is almost 2:00 a.m. and I have to try to get some sleep. If your W is in a pissy mood, then wait for her to bring up the subject of discovering the Board. You must not show fear to her, but stand tall and show stength & calmness. You have done nothing wrong. This is your support group and all identities are protected. Nobody would know who your W was. The remark she made about "spying"......I can't remember if it was your stitch that some of that was discussed or not, but I think the best way to handle that would be to use this as your answer to most anything she might throw into your face:
Quote:
This ordeal has been incredibly difficult on everybody.
Unless she is stupid and just wants to fight.....she should get the message when you say that b/c it put the monkey back on her back. She was the one that caused this ordeal and you are simply turning to a support group instead of going out parrtying & drinking all night. Well, that last part may open a flood gate, IDK. Too late to be trying to give advice. I need to go sleep.
But if you stay in control and not allow her to charge in and start bossing you around.....or blaming stuff on you to make you sound like the bad guy and first thing you know....."it's all your fault" and she's back to wanting to leave. If she makes that threat of leaving....I strongly suggest that you offer to back her bags or else tell her she has two weeks to get "all" of her things out of the house. She won't be expecting something that strong coming from you! But you need to break the controlling "hold" that she has over you and put your pants back on and be the head of the family. Whenever she starts in to badger....hold up your hand in the "stop" position and tell her that this conversation is over. Then leave. You don't have to sit there and take anything she decides to dish out. She won't respect you if you do. Did you hear that? She won't respect you. Take up for yourself. Make a stand and don't be scared of what she may think, say, or do. You are in control of your life and nobody is going to take that away and make you their puppet.
I will check on you later.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
