Thanks wholeagain, all good advice. I'm back on track for my goals. Newcomer is just that and I don't know her at all so I won't give up on a M, even though I was the LBS, for a fantasy.
-------- Me; 38 W; 34 1 4yr old S Married 4.5 yrs, together 9 yrs Bomb; 15 June 2007 Holiday together Sept 2008; My Dad dies Nov 2008; reconcliation fails Nov 2008