I am new here too (though more experienced as the bomb was dropped on me last July!) so these are just my thoughts but others here will soon give you more insight.
I've read from other resources that it is important to be genuine while working on M. It is important that we don't mold ourselves and allow ourselves to be molded based on what we think our S wants. At the end of the day, we have to look in the mirror and determine whether we like ourselves or not. And if we are not who we truly are, we will not like ourselves. If we are genuine, and our change is out of our own desire to improve and be a better person, then we can look in the mirror and greet ourselves.
I also believe that we might need to strive the balance between DBing techniques and what we know worked on our S. After all, we are the one who's been spending the life w/them and know who they are (well at least in the past)!
