There is no ONE WAY. But I also believe, in my heart of hearts, that even if you make a HORRIBLE MISTAKE, and choose the wrong way? But you are basically loving and genuine, and still authentically "you" as you do so? And you treat your WAS with respect and courtesy?
I believe that it really doesn't make a difference, one way or another, and that if you two were MEANT TO BE, as a couple, and if she GENUINELY LOVED YOU, and would RESPECT YOUR BOUNDARIES . . . that you can't screw it up.
I believe that, I really do. I believe that had she really been sincere that she wanted to make this work, then NEITHER way -- the "tough love" or the "softer stance" -- would have blown your chances out of the water.
That's been my fear all along. That she doesn't really love me, and doesn't really respect me. She decided a long time ago that I didn't deserve her love any more. Did she have valid reasons? Yes, some, but there were many good things in our life too. She threw in the towel a long time ago, and I've been trying to get her to pick it back up ever since. Our kids, our marriage, our memories, and even the warm vibe we feel when we talk just doesn't mean that much to her. She wants to be free to be with whomever she wants, and free to do whatever she wants.
