Moving on with my life!

[Reincarnated]

MOVE! That whole town seems messed up...

[S.T. _I Made It!]

yes move! I agree. I know that's easier said then done.


hey, I think that was good that H called 15 min earlier. of course he could of called sooner, but look, when has he ever done that? that is progress IMHO, and if he has 3 hours, doesn't that mean he could just show up at the last hour? so I don't think 15 minutes is aweful, but still, you could have planned something the day before or whatever.

hey, and don't believe all the gossip, not that it can't be true, but everyone sounds like big fabricators, so who knows what the truth really is. it doesn't matter anyways, and sorry the girl didn't keep quiet. next time be more firm and tell them again, I am done with his life and I don't want to know.

[Reincarnated]

ST...you read it incorrectly. He told her 15 min BEFORE HIS TIME WAS SET TO BE OVER that he wasn't coming. 2 hours and 45 minutes into his "window."
Loser.
What can you do about getting decent notice about when/if he is going to show up? The day before doesn't seem like you are asking too much. Is it a matter of contacting the lawyer and maybe just copying the ex on the communication (after trying one last time that you need decent notice so you can plan your life)?

[Startingover2]

I was thinking I needed to get that changed too. Its too vague. I am sure he waited to text me that he wasn't coming just to tick me off. Going to email my attorney today about that.

I wish I could move..but its not that simple. I have a home that I would most likely be upside down in if I tried to sell it right now. I have other kids, including a school aged son, that also live with me part time that wouldn't if I moved farther away. He only has 18 months until he is 18. I can wait that long. Plus, if I moved..the nearest town is 50 miles away. I would also need to check what that would do to my supervised visit status for baby. I don't want to do anything that would give exh an edge on that at all.

One good thing is MGF must have told him how stupid I thought his texts of kissing baby goodnight were. Actually, she agreed at the time, but I am sure she twisted it around when she told him. He hasn't done those late night texts since the weekend! They were rediculous!

Baby was up all night and very restless. I hope she isn't getting sick. I have MOPS today and a really busy wrestling Friday and Saturday for my son. I have been looking forward to staying busy with my GAL.

[Startingover2]

and if he has 3 hours, doesn't that mean he could just show up at the last hour? so I don't think 15 minutes is aweful, but still, you could have planned something the day before or whatever.

Yes, he has a 3 hour window and he can pick whenever he wants to come during that window. I would just like a heads up so I can plan and I am not sitting here for the 3 hours for him not to show up at all. I am sure he did that just to tick me off yesterday.

[kassie]

Hi SO2,

Just catching up. Sounds like you are setting up good boundaries and seeing a little change. How do you feel now? I know when I discovered that setting boundaries works it helped me a lot. Yes, H gets the attitude with me but at least I feel that I can say no and he doesn't run the other way for very long. The important part was me feeling more in control over my own life and decisions. What he does is his responsibility.
And hey, are you really thinking about a move? This past year while I waiting for H to figure things out - do you remember that I went house hunting? It felt good and I learned a lot about what I had and what I my options were. Enlightening... what I didn't tell anyone here at the time was that I found a place I loved but it was way out of my range but a few months later I got a call that I could get it at my price so things can turned around a lot. Anyway, the experience made me feel more in control of my life again and I know I have options. It was fun. Can you do that? I started with open houses. There was also a new community but it only offered condos or two level homes so I passed, but now they are emailing me that ranchers are being added and I am interested again. Don't know if I can afford it but it is nice to see how things can turn around if you go after what you want.

[Startingover2]

Moving would be nice, but I don't think I can until the market picks up for one and then maybe when my son turns 18 in a year and a half. Next town over is 50 miles away. Not going to do that to him now. Plus I would lose my A** in my home right now.

I am doing better. Hardly talk to exh at all anymore. Just once a day and thats it. Today he sent a text when we were out asking to stop by. I said we werent home. Not his day anyway.

Obviously not many people put up boundaries with exh. When they do he gets nasty. Oh well.

[Startingover2]

Felt really good to keep things about baby.

Last night exh sent:

Exh: How is baby? I miss her alot.
Me: Shes good.
Exh: What did she do today?
Me: Went to MOPS.
Exh: Give her a kiss and tell her daddy loves her so much.

Yeah ok! I can see that! Keep telling yourself that!

I was fine. I was prepared to not engage and felt good to not talk about anything but her.

[JAK58]

SO2

I think I would have stopped txting after the she's good.
That's all he needed to know otherwise he should make his visitation.

Just my OP

JAK

[S.T. _I Made It!]

oh, I totally misread that, I thought it was 15 minutes BEFORE his visitation. not 15 minutes before it was OVER! ya, that's bad.

I would definitely tell him if you don't hear from him in the first 30 minutes of the visitation, you will assume that he will not be there and you will make other plans.