K4D It's a Wonderful Life

[K4D]

I can't even comment on all the church stuff because again, IMO it seems you are looking for something that can stop this divorce train. At this point it doesn't really matter if your marriage was valid in the eyes of the church because your marriage is over. There is not one court in this fine country we live in that would put religious "laws" over the legalities. I had two documents to give my attny - one was my marriage license from NY state and the other was the "church license". He only wanted/needed the one from NY State. In the eyes of the law a church license means jack. It doesn't mean it isn't important but as far as the law goes it's irrelevant. So when your W divorces you don't spend 16 months looking into what the church thinks because even if the marriage wasn't valid in the church's eyes the law won't care. And what will you do? Spend 16 months investigating this matter to simply prove a point to your W that she had no "right" to divorce you because the church thinks otherwise? Do you think she will care 16 months after the fact? She doesn't even care now!

It is not about proving to W anything. She doesn't care whether it is valid or not. It is about finding out if our M is valid or not so that I know what my options are after if a D goes through. If it wasn't valid, I am free to seek out a new R should W not want to come back. If it is valid, we are married in holy matrimony regardless of what the court says which basically means I am just alone if she chooses not to come back. In the catholic church, the court is simply a legal/civil matter, not a holy matrimony matter. The court can't determine whether or not a M is valid before God. All the court can do is say that they do not recognize a legal/civil M anymore and split your finances and assets and kids lives. The church is the only one that can determine whether or not the marriage/covenant is valid before God. So I have to stick by what the church rules at least for myself to be in compliance with the authority of the church.