I think my H still feels very sad he hurt me so deeply. I honestly don't doubt that for a minute. The problem is, feeling sad you hurt somebody isn't enough in this type of situation because if you were THAT sad about it, you would stop the behavior that is causing all the hurt.
I have no less than 1700 e-mails from my H that say "I never meant to hurt a hair on your head and I am sorry you are hurt but gotta go, OW doesn't want me talking to you and we are about to go out then come home and screw". He didn't say that verbatim but it was the general theme. Sorry you are hurt but I don't plan to take any accountability for my actions or stop hurting you.. but sorry you are.
