I don't know if this will help you any but when our separation was almost complete I went through an awful stage of anger. It was almost as bad as when my H left the first time.
One would think we would be thrilled this BS is coming to an end (even if it didn't end how we had hoped or wanted it to) but for crying out loud it *does* have to end in some fashion or everybody involved will continue to destruct.
Your W sounds much like my H. Mad that we can't read minds. Mad that we did as they wanted (let them go) but didn't keep asking what was going on their heads. Why bother? All of it was a lie anyhow. The night before our separation was finalized my H gave me the most passionate speech I have ever heard come from his mouth. How he didn't care if it took the rest of his life but he would work until his dying day to earn my trust and respect back and make things right between us. He also said he knew I did everything in my power to turn this situation around and I deserved better. He said he understands and accepts I have no reason to trust him but he would work, work, work until I did.
And then I NEVER heard from him again other than a few e-mails about assets and another e-mail to tell me what a terrible person I was for not wishing him a happy T-day. He reminds me of OJ Simpson who spent years looking for his W's killer on golf courses (note to OJ: to find your W's killer look in the mirror).
I think this surge of anger is normal before things finalize. My attny said that but he could have been just trying to make me feel better... who knows.
I don't disagree this (our, yours, mine) situation is riddled with conflict and misery. That is not to say we don't appreciate what we do have because I know we both do. But the conflict and misery is very real.
One day we will get a beer (wine, cocktail.. whatever strikes your fancy) and find some small aspect of this horrid experience to laugh at (that is why we need booze, it helps
