You folks are essentially right on. It's of course not quite black and white. If you go back and read over what my W and I said to each other this past fall you'll see she was definitely conflicted about everything. Her seeing our youngest daughter crying and pleading with her for us all to live together again, and her reaching out and wrapping her arms around me and not letting go. Her putting our family pictures up in her living room for the kids to see. I don't go in her house, so they weren't there for me to see. Her asking me if I could forgive her if I knew everything.
I agree that she didn't DO anything about it, and that's where I know I am right in my response. She needed to DO something. She needed to make sure I KNEW she didn't want to lose me, instead of vaguely flirting and giving mixed signals. It was intolerable for me.
Was I right in taking a hard stance? Well, I would have been right doing just about anything, since she left me. I was under no obligation to do anything one way or the other, and that's what she tries to manipulate. She wants ME to feel guilty for not accomodating her needs through all this. It's ridiculous. She tells me her heart was broken, that's why she was acting the way she was. What am I supposed to do with that? I have been trying to take care of her for so long that it's just automatic for me.
The conflict and misery of my situation was again illustrated this morning when I got a voice message on my cell phone from my W's phone. She let my youngest daughter call me and say "Daddy, I love you." I hate that I have to hear that over a cell phone message rather than in person, but I know many people have a much worse situation, both here on this forum, and in other aspects of life (parents deployed to war zones, etc), so I'm trying to stay positive and appreciate what I have, which is plenty.
