BM, I've "seen" you on Future's thread and "looked you up." I've only read your last few posts so I'm in no position to give advice.
This part of your post stood out...
Originally Posted By: BeingMe
On the very rare occasion, when I tell him that I am frightened, or hate the taste the chemo leaves, or anything negative, he tells me not to feel that way. Good grief! How should I feel? (It would be nice for him to say, "I am sorry that you are going through this frightening disease," and then give my a hug and say, "I am here for you". Wouldn't that be what a loving H would say. He's not mean when he says "don't feel that way", just totally unaware of how it makes me feel. Sometimes, I tell him not to tell me how I should feel, but he doesn't get the underlying hint. Ugh!
I'm not making excuses for your H. As you know, us men are kinda wired differently.... I get the impression that he's clueless on how to express himself, this is why he asks you "not to feel that way."
Please forgive me if I'm repeating something that may have been discussed before, but, have you tried simply telling him what to say to you at times like that. It's difficult for us men "to get it." We don't work well with subtle hints.
CONGRATULATIONS on the tumor being gone! That's wonderful news! I truly wish you all the best. Good health and peace for this year and the ones that follow.
