Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

Lost - I think you nailed it! My job isn't secret squirrel, though I got a laugh out of that, but if I gave a few details and the right (or wrong) person happened to read it, it would take that person a matter of seconds to figure out who me and my W were. It's a unique work situation with a husband/wife "team" (in quotes since the "team" part is on life support these days) we have with the work.

But you nailed it...I was coming to that conclusion this morning driving...it is a combination of not being able to reliably plan for the future, having no control whatsoever with wayward spouse, and lastly, never knowing if a thing she says or does is the truth or part of some larger plot/cover-up. I don't even know how to start looking at houses to rent (originally thinking buy but that probably not smartest with this family situation) for the move this summer.

Please do share more insight if you have any on the grass is much greener over here approach. Right now, the other approach hasn't done anything that I can see except drive them deeper undercover and cause me more angst.

I did in subtle ways stop covering for her at work. had about 3 people ask how she was doing and what she was doing. I answered she made it, she was tired, I talked to her for 2 minutes, so i don't know much more. Not sure if that made me feel good or bad and not sure if I'm going to tell her people are asking.

Copy on the kids - I like that - let her learn from her mistakes. I unforunately did tell her last night in our 2 minutes of talking that older D wasn't dealing well with the trip.