Not sure I have advice, but I've got a very similar situation. Divorce isn't finalized, but we're not "working on it" - and I haven't thought of myself as actively DBing for some time.
At the same time, we've spent time together recently, going to movies, I took her to a New Year's party, etc. I've been going to the house for dinner regularly, etc. Yeah, I go over there and watch Heros with her.
So, yeah, I don't know what I'm doing either.
W - well, I guess STBX now - starting talking about delaying the divorce among other things, and in the next conversation, she pulled that back. She misses me, she wants me around, she likes doing things with me, she has second thoughts but is confused. And she said, she's got emotions that have nothing to do with anybody else - she's got things of her own to sort out.
Why do I participate in this? I suspect the answers are comfort, familiarity, etc.
Why do you particiate it in? I'm interested to know.
I don't think it's healthy. That jealousy you feel, how long can you live with it? I've got anger, and I feel like appearing to accept certain things erodes my self-respect.
I don't know, maybe our goals are different (you and I, I mean). I'm convinced I need to move on but I'm doing a poor job of it. I've been back and forth on the spectrum over the last months, but haven't been consistant. Maybe like how an addict experiences a relapse.
What do you think?