Wife wants best of both worlds

[C-Bart]

Are you trying to make her look bad? I agree you don't want to make your W the bad guy but you can't cover for her decision. The dialog should be something like Mom has decided she wants to live somewhere else. She has to take the lead and you provide support for the kids. Ask them if they have any questions. If they are why questions you W gets to answer them.

Remember this is not manipulation it is respecting your W'a decision. Respecting and supporting are two different things.