Still haven't received anything from WAH about custody requests (I didn't really expect to since he seems to only become determined to finalize things when I tick him off). I know I need to get the custody done though due to an upcoming administrative meeting re: childcare funding through local county but I can't even bring myself to pick up the paperwork... I never thought in my 20 year relationship that I would have to even look at custody papers... It hurts so much to even think of it.. And I'm afraid it will just alienate him further but there's no way around it (I'll lose subsidized daycare if I don't do it and I can't afford to right now).
I've been working hard on detaching my emotions from what may or may not be going on with him.. I've come to terms with it all being about his journey and not a reflection on me. I have been starting to set goals for myself and have been looking into what the more mature me wants to see/do in her life... But the fear that my R with this man I have loved for half my life is over is a hard mountain to get over... And doing official paperwork is another step towards that... (if that makes any sense)
I'm not sleeping well and S13 (autistic) has been waking and bouncing around a few times a night just to make things even more fun!
Sorry for the whine session.. I'm just so tired and heartsick..
~ This Diamond now SHINES!! ;-p ~
My Sitch in MLC - http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Main=45253&Number=1901148#
