I used to post to all the time, but moved to another board because I actually did end up finalizing divorce. I still followed you because I hoped maybe you worked it out, but at the same time thought Dan would never change. Your Dan was my Theodore. Let me tell you something, honey. Dan is a weak Puss. Much like everything else, he doesn't have the balls to either end the marriage or work on his faults. You once again have to do the heavy lifting and who needs that. Let it go. Put the weakling out of his ,arriage and go forward with or without his signature. He has done nothing to indicate he wants to be married and more importantly his actions have done nothing to show change. I went through the affairs and I didn't want to let go. But the fact is when H left he continued to see who I am sure was the person he was cheating on me with. About 6 months into the seperation he started sleeping with me, this is of course before ow was confirmed for sure. Point is he hadn't changed. Because he was now doing to her what he did to me. I ended it for good, but I would bet the farm if I wanted to sleep with him tomorrow he would be game. Ever wonder why Dan has only dealt with younger women or women with children or older women? It speaks to his maturity. He is weak so the only way he can feel strong is by dealing with women who "need him", but who he knows he never has to be responsible to. Women with children have there children so they don't make the men priority which means less accountability. Younger women usually have other stuff going on like partying so again less accountability.
Living in limbo hoping for some small sign is no way to live. You are young and your kids are young. You can start over. Put the focus on your kids and Dan. One thing my ex told me when I found out about his indiscretions was, you will never trust me again so I don't see this working. He was right and who wants to live with someone they will always second guess. Resents build and precious time is wasted. You only hav e one life and you certainly don't want to look back and know you wasted it on somebody who didn't waste his life on you. Your kids will understand. Finally I heard today that we all have to walk through the ring of fire at some point in life. You can't control what your ring will be or when you will have to walk through it. I must say if this is mine then I am avery blessed woman.
