Fast track to her divorcing me

[g450]

I decided to start a new thread since I am almost divorced now (Pending 9Feb10). Papers are filed and signed. Just need the final hearing. Divorce is amicable and uncontested. But it's not final yet so Im still a bit worried.

I started helping her move her things out today. (I know, don't tell me). It tore me up to do this but I want to make sure she doesn't take things that I want to keep and I want to keep things amicable until the divorce is done since it favors me. She should be completely out of my house by 15Jan (this Fri).

Just a run down my situation:

In Nov09 my 54 year old wife of 23 years told me that she did not love me anymore and hasn't for past 10 years. Told me she
wanted a divorce and with no discussion or argument. Told me she had her mind made up. She said this with a cold blank stare on her face.

I was devastated. Ironically we had a wonderful vacation together just the month prior and I thought we were getting closer together.

I pleaded with her for five days to reconsider, to go see mc, go see md etc. I then gave in to her request as it was clear that she had made her decision final and did not want to work things out. I should have gotten a clue that there was a problem when she moved into my Son's old bedroom two years ago (due to my snoring?) when he left home. But NOT once in 23 years did she convey to me that she was unhappy.

I now realized our marriage could have been better. We lived
together as always but because I was confortable with where we were I never noticed that we weren't as close as we used to be. Always thought this was normal for older couples. I never dreamed that she would want to leave me and didnt love me however.

I never cheated on her. Never abused her. Never abused drugs or stayed out etc. We just werent as close as we first were. My worst offense was spending to much time on my PC. Im not perfect but neither was she. I see both our faults more clearly now.

Like many here, I feel she is either in MLC, but most likely is just a WAW. It seems to me now like she had issues and just married me out of convenience. She knew she was going to leave years ago and just now got around to telling me. She wanted to finish raising our Son I guess (He is 20 now). That's admirable of her but she still should have told me 10 years ago that she didnt love me so I could at least have started dbing.

I now feel that I never had a snowballs chance in hell of restoring the marriage. Ten years is a long time to not love me. I was praying that it was MLC as this would give me hope of reconciliation.

Like many, at first I thought she had to be cheating. And I am still not ruling this out as a possibility. The secrecy from her regarding her PC, her phone and her Facebook thing gave me concern. I do not find any evidence of a PA anywhere but there may be an EA as per my old jealousy thread here:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...;gonew=1#UNREAD

I just feel like my wife died and this other ugly and unfeeling person has taken over her body and mind. Ironically she is a sweetheart to everybody else.

It has been over a month since the bomb and I am still in intense pain. Like a widower, I am trying to pick up the pieces. I am in one room with my chest ripped open and she is in the other room giggling on the phone with her friends and family. This kills me.

Now that she is moving out of my house maybe I can deal with this better. She is moving into my Son's house and will be there for three years or so until she retires. Once she retires she will go back to her own hometown and I will probably have to write off any chance of reconciliation after that.

Sorry for the long winded thread. I am not giving up on her. I have three years to DB while divorced. I finally have my db book and I am still holding on to hope, or at the very least helping myself GAL and a fresh start if that fails.

Thanks everyone.