Keep Your Hands Offa My Mojo

[CityGirl]

Smiley - I understand you DO want her to be all the mother she can be. Perhaps though (even though we/you don't like it much) she, at this time, is not in a place to be all she can be as a mother.

While you are waiting to see if she will decide to put more focus on mothering YOU do not have to expose your children to her wacky ways. When she is ready to put forth all her best skills then you can perhaps consider an adjustment to the custody. I just don't think this constant "back and forth" that ya'll do will help her get there in any sort of rapid fashion. Eliminate the BS, do the AMAZING dad thing even though you WANT more for your children and if she comes around as far as mothering goes you can work from a different point.

You W sounds like a real pain in the ass if you want to know my opinion (I am sure you don't, lol!). As you said though, she doesn't think she is a pain in the ass so pointing out to her what a pain she is does not at all ruffle her feathers.

I saw this show the other night called Hoarders. OMG - it was one of the most horrible hours of tv I have ever watched. Hoarders live in a state of absolute filth. I don't mean they didn't clean the house for a week. There are piles (up to the roof) of garbage, feces and dead animals. Their homes become condemned and they lose their children over their hoarding. What fascinated me the most is every hoarder that was featured truly did not think this was not an INSANE way to live. To them, living among trash, poo, rotted food and animal corpse wasn't really a big issue.

If I had to speculate I bet your W would say YOU are the one creating all these issues and it's not her at all. Welp, it is and we can all only hope one day she sees that.