I had perhaps my most peaceful night since moving out. I had the girls and we went to the YMCA to climb on the rock wall. Then we borrowed a racquet ball and went into one of the courts and just through the ball off the wall and chased it.
We got home at 8 p.m. and read books for 45 minutes and then went to bed.
It's very strange. I just felt lighter. Knowing that I'm going to be OK financially just lessens everything. W's trials are ahead of her. I feel like I've passed many of mine.
I woke up this morning with many of the same feelings of dread and worry and then I started thinking about summer and being out from under much of the debt she piled on me. And I could start to dream of things to do and places to go.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
W just called. She's trying to set up something where we can talk about a divorce settlement on Sunday. She's taking the girls up to her mom's house and she wanted to know if I just wanted to drive up there, we could go to a restaurant, and then I could have them for the night.
I'm wising up to this offer. The past couple of times she tossed that out there is so she could head out to a small town where her best friend and a possible OM lives. That way she wouldn't have to drive them back to me and then turn around and drive way out to the small town.
I told her I didn't want to drive up to her mom's, and I didn't commit to taking the girls that night. She's off on MLK day so I see what she's doing.
As of now, she's going to drive down to my place for the discussion and then go back and get them ... if I still want them she can drop them off.
I love my girls ... but I'm considering turning the offer of having them for the night down. What's holding me back is W is likely just to leave them at her mom's house and go out anyway. So I'd be punishing the kids. If I take them, it still means she has to drive 20 minutes up, 20 minutes back, 20 minutes back up, 20 minutes back down ... and then if she wants to head to the small town ... 40 minutes back up.
The flip side is I could just keep saying I haven't decided until Sunday and then tell her, yes, I'll take them. Mess with her a little bit.
The whole OM thing, whether there's one now or in the future, is going to sting when I find out. No question about it. Still, I'm feeling good still. The faster this goes the faster I get out of this financial avalanche.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Question to the divorced ones out there. How do you handle weekend change requests when it appears to be freeing up time for the WAS to go party.
If you read my above post, W is offering to let me have my girls on Sunday. She's off on MLK day and I suspect the offer is really a way not to have them so she can go party in a small town with her best friend and possible OM.
She first did this on July 4. She said I could have them. It was early in the separation and I didn't have plans so I was happy to take them. She ended up going out for the night.
On Christmas she asked me to dinner at her mom's and it appears as if she only did it so I would take the girls with me so she could head out.
I have zero problem taking them during the week to help her work schedule, but I don't want to be the babysitter so she can hit the townie bars.
What do you think?
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
I myself try to accomodate all reasonable requests to change the parenting schedule because I also have things come up and need her to accomodate me also.
I also have no problem saying, "Sorry, I already have plans."
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
OK, so I read through your latest thread, and all kinds of bells and whistles went off in my head!!!!
I live in Illinois, and my best advice to you would be to GET A NEW LAWYER!!!!
Seriously. No way should you have to fight for 50/50 custody. No way should you have to pay 28% of your pay to an XW who makes more than you do, with approximately equal parenting time. And, assuming you are still helping pay the mortgage on the family home, why can't you move back home?
Something's wrong here .....
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
