SHOOT!!!!!!!she came in just NOW and saw some of this. I said it was my private stuff. She seemed upset and stomped off to the gym. I tried to explain it was stuff for ME, but she mumbled something about sneaky??? oh no , what to do now????
What do i do if she say's she's moving out for space?
Tell her you don't want that to happen and want to work on your M but if that's her decision, then you won't stop her. "As if" and all that jazz.
As for her kissing you all lovingly, just go with it.
Originally Posted By: rob668
SHOOT!!!!!!!she came in just NOW and saw some of this. I said it was my private stuff. She seemed upset and stomped off to the gym. I tried to explain it was stuff for ME, but she mumbled something about sneaky??? oh no , what to do now????
Remain calm. If she brings it up again, tell her there is nothing sneaky. It's a blog you belong to and leave it at that. Then ask her what her favorite part about her trip was. Show interest, listen, respond, and then continue your day.
i'm really sweating right now. before she stormed out she said somthing about spying? I'm really shaking right now!! i was SUPPOSED to meet her at the gym to workout in an hour. should i go?
If she asks tell her it is very unfortunate that she feels so strongly about you using all available resources to improve yourself.
She probably won't like that answer or any other answer you give her but that really isn't your problem. I am quite certain you don't like the resources SHE is using to dismantle your marriage but you don't give her crap about it.
The WAS will always hold you to a different standard. Just roll with it.
It's not easy to GAL. especially these cold winter nites in new england. I've been here for hours reading and watching tv. I'm bored and feel like i'm wasting time. This is a slow process to GAL. I LIKE being home relaxing. But GAL means going out, usually. How else will W take notice?
Well, I lost my post. It is almost 2:00 a.m. and I have to try to get some sleep. If your W is in a pissy mood, then wait for her to bring up the subject of discovering the Board. You must not show fear to her, but stand tall and show stength & calmness. You have done nothing wrong. This is your support group and all identities are protected. Nobody would know who your W was. The remark she made about "spying"......I can't remember if it was your stitch that some of that was discussed or not, but I think the best way to handle that would be to use this as your answer to most anything she might throw into your face:
Quote:
This ordeal has been incredibly difficult on everybody.
Unless she is stupid and just wants to fight.....she should get the message when you say that b/c it put the monkey back on her back. She was the one that caused this ordeal and you are simply turning to a support group instead of going out parrtying & drinking all night. Well, that last part may open a flood gate, IDK. Too late to be trying to give advice. I need to go sleep.
But if you stay in control and not allow her to charge in and start bossing you around.....or blaming stuff on you to make you sound like the bad guy and first thing you know....."it's all your fault" and she's back to wanting to leave. If she makes that threat of leaving....I strongly suggest that you offer to back her bags or else tell her she has two weeks to get "all" of her things out of the house. She won't be expecting something that strong coming from you! But you need to break the controlling "hold" that she has over you and put your pants back on and be the head of the family. Whenever she starts in to badger....hold up your hand in the "stop" position and tell her that this conversation is over. Then leave. You don't have to sit there and take anything she decides to dish out. She won't respect you if you do. Did you hear that? She won't respect you. Take up for yourself. Make a stand and don't be scared of what she may think, say, or do. You are in control of your life and nobody is going to take that away and make you their puppet.
I will check on you later.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
