Cutterbug, undefeated, and wifeleft2009 thank you for taking the time to listen to me and offer sound advise and criticism. I think this site is very useful and helpful because you are not on either side. It's difficult to talk to family and friends because they are automatically on my side and some think I need to move on if he doesn't want to work things out like "tomorrow."
Cutterbug, its actually only been on week and 2 days since I saw my husband not two weeks so I guess this means I'm overly impatient! I did buy him a card and will send it to him on Satuday and ask him for another date in the near future. I actually started calling friends of ours and reaching out to them in mid-November. Have not reached out to his family persay but my family knows how sorry I am and how much I want my marriage back and although I am WRONG they support me 100% and even invited him to spend X-mas with us but of course he declined. No he does not know that I'm still in contact with the OM. Please keep in mind the OM still calls me but I have made it clear that I'm no longer interested and have put GREAT distance between the two of us. I am already in the process of joining a different gym as well. My husband wanted to know if I had done that yet but I told him I was in the process.
I do agree I need to own my A and work on myself instead of shifting the blame. Sometimes its easier to justify my A with what I felt was missing in my marriage. I mean who wants to admit they had an A because they are selfish? But I do realize there is no such thing as a perfect marriage and that there will be times that things are NOT so great but that's NO excuse to go and have an A.
Undefeated I agree that my situation should not determine how I feel about myself or life. Although I work on myself and spend time with friends and work everyday I still MISS my husband. I miss sleeping in the same bed with him. I MISS our vacations and I miss my marriage period so no matter what I do or how I feel during the day I feel empty when I come home. O well I guess it's a process that I need to continue working on.
Moving forward I will send him a THANK YOU card and put my address and phone # in it although he already has it and wait for an answer/response. I will practice patience and LEARN what it means to be patient and wait. I will continue to pray and have faith that he WILL come around eventually. Also reading the book is helping me understand my damage.
Thank you all again for your help, advise, and sharing your life experiences with me. I have received more help here then going to a therapist who only listens and provide 0 feedback!
