H suddenly moved out 10 days ago...I'm devastated

[flowmom]

Thanks davidswife, sandi, Awoken and WhatNow for taking the time to reply to my post. It gives me comfort to be in touch with people who don't think I'm crazy to want to work on this marriage. Of course my friends and parents want me to let go of him and move on. They see how diminished I've become and they blame my H, but of course I have some responsibility in that too.

Thanks for sharing your experience sandi. It's so hard for me to understand H's mindset right now.

Do you have anyone who comes in to help out for a few hours?

H takes the kids for a few hours when he can, and we have six hours a week of childcare. Time stress is huge right now though. I spent hours researching funding and treatment options for our S this morning while H had the kids. And I want to get back to doing paid work ASAP (which I can do on a flexible schedule fortunately).

H took the last 4 days off from work on stress leave, but now he's back to work tomorrow and that's a relief. I won't have to be "on" until he comes to tuck the kids in at night.

One thing I did this morning was leave our home at 8 AM and take a half hour walk with my coffee while H was preparing to take the kids out. That felt good because 1. I need the light (I'm stuck in a very gloooooomy PNW winter) 2. I need the exercise but can't do much due to recovering from pneumonia and 3. it was out of my regular routine of staying home when I have personal time (to do housework and computer stuff).