Some guys like "nice" girls and some guys like "bitches". The guys that have been with the "nice" girls know what to expect, but there is excitement in the unknown "bitches". IE They are walking away from the "nice" girl to explore the unknown of "bitches". Why not 180 and become one of the "unknown". Then you can float between "nice" and a "bitch" depending on how you feel. This is seductive because you are now not predictable.
Do this in all areas.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
I don't know how everyone does the little boxes when responding to others posts and answering a question.
MO3: Not that has been confirmed. But of course has been denied (prior to implementing DB). Short of hiring a PI, I have tried to exhaust all options of investigation. Since he has moved out and setup a separate banking account I don’t have access to things that would offer a lot of clues. My only source of info now is his blackberry phone records. Unbeknownst to him, I can access them online. Nothing out of the ordinary is showing up. However, with that said, I find it very hard to believe someone would just up and walk away without having someone waiting in the wings. I am not naïve, I just haven’t been able to come up with any proof and have stopped trying to do so.
I'm also having the same problem as yours above. I can't find any proof either, and do have access to blackberry records, but it doesn't show me anything. He is living with his mom, and from her I find out that almost every night he doesn't come home until way after midnight. Therefore, I'm very suspicious that he is with an OW. I've asked in the past and he denies. I to find it very hard to believe that my H would walk away without someone waiting, are enticing him to not work on our M. This has been the most difficult for me, is the not knowing. I still snoop, when I know I shouldn't. However, I am doing it less and less.
Sorry I don't have much advice to give, as I'm still too new at this. However, it is nice to know I'm not alone. Together 16 years Married 12 years D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
I know. My sitch doesn't seem to be as exciting as some of the others on here. Maybe that is not a bad thing? I have a few things to add, just haven't found the time. More like procrastinating. I will try to get around to it today.
PS. You need a mint.
Me & H: 33 yrs S: 4 & 6 D: 2 M: 9 yrs ILYBNILWY: 8/09 SEPARATED: 9/09 The Beginning
Late last week, on one of the nights H had the kids I had forgotten to send S4’s antibiotic with him. I called H to let him know I would drop the meds by later that night. I delivered the meds by placing them by the front door and rang the door bell. By the time H came to the door I was already in the car. He waved and I waved back. About 15 minutes later I received a text from H containing a couple of sentences thanking me for dropping off the meds. I didn’t see the text until the next day and didn’t ever respond. This was different because I haven’t received a text from H in quite some time.
H called one night to speak with the kids. I answered and shocking as it was, H asked how I was doing. It came across as one of those questions were the person asking doesn’t really care how you are doing, but wanted to be polite so asked the question anyway. I said that I was trying to stay warm from digging out of the snow. He went on for awhile, talking about the crazy cold weather. Then after a few minutes he asked to speak with the kids. The conversation was really something I could have had with anyone. But, just to have this type of conversation with H was something different.
I have had a few email communications with him concerning arrangements for the kids. But since that phone call I have not spoken to him verbally again. Typically when I call H’s phone to speak to the kids, he will have one of them answer the phone. Thus, H does not usually initiate any conversation with me. When H calls my home to speak with the kids, I have handled it both ways. Sometimes I have the kids pick up the phone without me interfering and other times I answer the phone myself. Thoughts? Opinions?
Saturday I will be seeing H at S6’s basketball game. After going back and rereading R2C, Kara’s, and MF input I have decided that I am going just be myself and treat him like I would treat any other person at the game. As MF stated, there is nothing wrong with flaunting the new me. And if H doesn’t take notice, maybe someone else will.
On the legal front, mid-December, H stated that he had been given a phone number of a mediator and would like to schedule an appointment with him. Since then I haven’t heard anything about it. Apparently with the holidays and H’s busy schedule at work the last couple of weeks, he hasn’t found the time to move this process along. Now that things have slowed down for him a little bit at work, I anticipate this topic to come up again.
Me & H: 33 yrs S: 4 & 6 D: 2 M: 9 yrs ILYBNILWY: 8/09 SEPARATED: 9/09 The Beginning
"Hey – S6 game Saturday is at the X YMCA instead of X. It address is X, which is east of the speedway."
Should I respond to his email?
How about "Thx."? And nothing more. Even if you are dark, the kids still get your attention. Which means you guys have to be able to communicate about them.
