So many things are combined to cause a person to become so stressed and depressed that I think they can began to seek an escape. I know I did. I wasn't aware, at first, that I was getting sucked into something that was "my escape" from reality and by the time I did realize it....I was addicted.
So, your H is vulnerable to most anything at this point. You must feel that you have to be the strong one in the family and that puts more on you. I know what it's like having a H who won't discuss his feelings or his ideas or how he sees the future or goals.....nothing deeper than how the weather is that day! For a woman who really needs that as part of her emotional needs being met.....it sucks! But, I cannot change him and I have the choice to make the most of it and be the best Sandi I can be.....and that's what I have tried to do.
I almost walked out on my M about three years ago. Seems like almost a lifetime ago now. We had been under so many different souces of stress and I was going through all kinds of mid-life changes, hormone problems, depression, health problems....you name it. I just wanted out, but I knew I couldn't do that. I had always been this type of "thou shalt and thou shalt not" type of person and it just wasn't done in my book. You don't walk out of a M as many years as mine was. But then I got hooked into chatting with people playing games over the Internet, then one thing led to another and you can probably guess the rest. I ended up in an EA. I look back and wonder who in this world that woman was. That surly wasn't me!
Anyway, I was just going to tell you a bit about myself and to maybe give you some hope. You will see a lot of stories on here that doesn't sound very successful, but most of the success stories have moved on out. There are some that stay to try and pay it forward.....even if the M didn't survive, they came out of the experience a better person than when they entered into it. You'll come to know what I mean by that as you read along and see what this DBing is all about.
Hope you can find some time for yourself in your busy day. It is important to do that. Do you have anyone who comes in to help out for a few hours?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
For a woman who really needs that as part of her emotional needs being met.....it sucks! But, I cannot change him and I have the choice to make the most of it and be the best Sandi I can be.....and that's what I have tried to do. 
