Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

Sometimes I figure at this point I should go to C just to hear her reasons for wanting a D and not wanting to work on M. I really don't know all of her reasons and it's difficult to try to figure out every day. Other times I think I shouldn't go with her so she can relieve her guilt. In no way do I think my W wants this closure for my sake. It makes me angry at times that my W is acting this way when all I ever did was to give her all of my love and support. So very frustrating to try to hang in there and give this process time and see if things turn around. I have read enough to know this process takes time but it sure is hard to be patient. I'm doing my best right now. Whenever I feel this way I take a day or so to think about things and calm down before I make any decisions.

I know I can't let my emotions dictate my decisions as my goal is still to save my M but boy does it take all of my strength at times. Sometimes I wish I didn't love my W so much so I could just forget all of this. Then I calm myself down and try to think rationally.

Sorry, just needed to vent a bit tonight.