I think my X is weak, too. I think he freaked when our D was born; it was a lot of reality and he had to grow up and come to terms with some of what he accomplished and what he did not accomplish. He is not happy with what he accomplished but he is also fairly materialistic and not willing to acknowledge that he is, plus he does not have the money to live up to the lifestyle that he wants to have.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
I think the difference now is they come to a realization that he they aren't just "solitary" they are ALONE. He told me that he was afraid to give up his solitude and now he is afraid of growing old alone.
I have tried to tell my H that this will happen to him…however, I have learned and just re-learned that we can’t tell a MLCer anything…they have to figure it out for themselves.
Quote:
Sometimes I have even thought that because of his relationship with his Mother he really didn't like women.
Several years before the bomb, I started noticing that my H had what I called “Mommy Issues”. My H’s mother died before I met him. My H talked very little about her so I have no idea what his relationship was like with her however he claims their relationship wasn't bad. I just know my H didn’t like me “mothering” him in any way. And if I think about it now, my H talks negatively about women a lot...hmmm.
Quote:
He is not happy with what he accomplished but he is also fairly materialistic and not willing to acknowledge that he is, plus he does not have the money to live up to the lifestyle that he wants to have.
Oh this is so my H. My H thinks he should have been more successful by this time in his life and he is constantly comparing himself to others. I think on some level he resents my family for being more successful than he is even though I believe that is one of the things he originally found attractive about me.
If I try to pin pinpoint the start of my H's MLC, it had to be somewhere 4 years ago. No way I'm sticking around another 6 unless something drastic changes.
Cyrena-Do you have your story posted anywhere?
dncrm-How have you been handling your situation? Are you spending more time with your XH?
