I agree with Kerry... at some point, you might be able to examine the past, but right now, it's more important to be in the present. As though he was a person you had just met, rather than an returning H. Analyzing the past is going to leave you stuck in the past, I think.
I know, it's much easier said than done! But if you are going to succeed I think you want to try to look at the past as "history". It can't be changed, and doesn't have to control what happens in the present, or the future.
