Don't rule out the chance of another woman being involved just because he denied it when you asked him. Some of your sitch sounds like pretty typical walk away stuff w/OW (other woman) involved.
People will be along to chime in. In the meantime, get DR and read other people's threads on here - you'll learn lots.
What are your son's issues? You said behavioral issues, does he have a diagnosis? I'm a special education teacher, that's why I'm asking.
Take care of yourself and your children.
Accept that you have no control over your husband's issues -- all you can control is you. And as Coach would say: "You can handle it".
