Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

luvless, thanks for the hugs!

That is what is so confusing to me that my W seems so determined for D. I don't get it. Unless I'm completely clueless (and I might be) I didn't see any problems with our M other than our financial probles for the past two years. Before the past two years we did very well. I'm sure my W hated going through this just as much as I did but it was an unfortunate thing that happened to us beyond our control. So does that mean the one person just gets up and quits the M? I guess for some people it does but I'll never completely understand it. I know that my W really loved me at one time and I guess I was blind to her pulling away the past couple of years, that's what she says but I'm not so sure it has been that long.

I was talking to a friend of mine today who's sister left her H six months ago. Neither one of them had an A either. The W was determined to get a D and end the M. She said there was no way she would change her mind and work on their M. Well, after six months she is willing to work on their M. She has cracked the door open a bit. Unfortunately with this good news her H is wanting everything back to normal now which is pushing her back away and he's blowing his chance. He is smothering her. Hopefully he gets it soon that she went from a place of wanting a D to now being willing to work on M and he needs to take it slow. I guess my point is that I hold on to hope that given time my W may also get to a point where she is willing to at least try to work on M. If I am ever so lucky I will do the right things and not blow it.

So to all of my friends on this board, keep hope alive. There may come a time when your spouse will be willing to work on your M. I will continue to follow the advice of those on this board and work on myself, GAL, no R talk, etc.

Sandi, do you still think I should hold off with W on the counseling with the new counselor?