mach-

didn't post yet there-

I'm not yet ready for the world to know--- our friends, family, many of them do not know the truth of the problems we are having.

Honestly J3B, I just can't spend another 6 months in limbo-- alone, without my kids, in a wierd place, with essentially nothing to do. Can't deal with the lies, the ups and downs, all of it. We need to figure out where we are going with this-- either way. I know that is everything against everything you all have talked to me about but I just can't do it day to day. Life is short, and I do not want to spend the next 6 months to a year or two dealing with lies and deceit, even if she is an alien.

so at the very least, I feel like she needs to decide if she wants to be with me, or we need to work on some sort of legal separation or agreement, so that perhaps I can at least start trying to move on with my life, find some companionship of some sort... maybe if I had my kids with me I'd be able to tolerate this a little bit, but the isolation, lack of touch, love, and all that has become too much to bear. So I need to do something else.

I feel like if we did some sort of legal separation then perhaps that would leave a door open. But while she tries to figure out herself I need to start living my life. And doing that, for me at least, means with some sort of companionship.

I hope that is not too much of a disappointment for people to hear, but that is sortof where I am right now.

She's coming down with the boys this weekend. we are gonna talk it out. I basically told her that she needs to figure out a way to try and let the past go, forgive me, believe that I can be different and try to love me again-- or we can make the separation "official" so that I can go about finding someone in my life who does want to love and be with me.

I know there is someone out there. I am a freakin catch.

I am sympathetic if what my wife is going through is MLC... for sure. But everyone has their breaking point and I pretty much hit mine this week.

Again, though I've only been posting for a while I've been supporting her, loving her, and letting her go through this since last July. Its been a long time. I don't have another 6 months in me... especially if she is with another guy.

you all are amazing how you can do it as long as you all have...