open relationships

[bob48]

I haven't been here in quite a long time, but I noticed that you had responded to my post, and I thought I'd continue what I feel is a fruitful conversation.

My wife and I have been involved in three ways for nearly a year now. Neither of us has any desire to see anyone separately. We found that it has lead to a wonderful sense of freedom and our sex life is beyond my wildest dreams. I am in my early 60's and she's in her 50's and we make love 25 to 30 times a month. And it is almost always wonderful. We find ourselves playing verbally and sexually in the kitchen, livingroom and den! Even in the car, even on the phone. We send very suggestive emails back and forth daily.

We are madly in love with each other. We email the other guy from time to time, but always c.c. each other as well. Whoever receives his email forwards it on to the other so that we are never in the dark about anything.

When an encounter is coming up, we talk about it, fantasize together about it and it has almost always been fulfilling and rewarding.

I am not suggesting this to anyone else. It works for us. I don't know why, but it does, and I truly don't care why it does.

I don't believe that people are naturally monogamous, and I think that three ways allow us to experience something different without one of us betraying the other.

I will say that my wife doesn't want a three way with another woman, nor does she want me to do that with another couple. I told her that it would appeal to me, but I have absolutely no qualms about not doing that. The sex life we have together, including our 3 ways, is exceptionally fulfilling and neither of us have any inclination to stop at this time or any time in the near future.

So, while you have cited another couple's experience, mine is different. Yes, a lot of people who have open marriages of different types end up separated. A lot of people who commit or say they have committed to a monogamous relationships also break up.

I will agree that when one or the other person becomes uncomfortable with it, you have to stop, negotiate and if you can't come to an agreement, then find other ways to have fun together. Arm twisting will only damage a relationship.

I had an open mind about this as did my wife, going into it. We were both a bit scared and hesitant. But we had enough faith in the strength of our relationship to know that we would be committed to working things out if it turned out to be a bad experience.

So, it's not for everyone. It may not even be the right thing for almost anyone. But it's right for us.

I would be really interested in hearing from others who have been involved in similar experiences both good and bad.

bob