Need some help with moving forward.

[michaelCM]

Thanks to you both. Sorry about the multiple posts. Know how to delete a post? Can't seem to figure it out.

A couple of things:
I am fully aware of the "beware of the truth" mantra. I have been wrestling with that since discovery. I think that I am at piece with what I know so far.
And, I have pretty much assumed that sex did happen, and yes, that is what I have considered to be a PA, but you are right, they did have a PA.
I've been give half truths about everything that I didn't have evidence to rebut, is my understanding.

One of the things that I am grappling with is the boundaries thing and the consequences. Aside from threatening to leave if she has contact with him again, what are consequences that I can offer? Seems like I have been down that road.
I'm just not sure. I don't know if I could ever leave her. I know. I'm sad. I've never been good with confrontation or even sticking up for myself. Seems like I have in the recent past with this very issue (contact with OM), but it really didn't do me any good, because there was no meat behind it.

I have read DB, and Undefeated, you are so right about looking to myself for happiness. My wife and I have spent a lot of years just looking out for the kids, and I think that contributed to some of this. She started looking out for herself and had an affair. I need to start looking out for myself with the mindset that this will be good for both of us. Or something.
Anyway, thanks again to Undefeated and Puppy.