I agree with Michelle- just be very careful - since saying too much could easily be seen as pursuing - and could push her away more than you might think. It's a tough position to be in - though I think if you send something for the kids it just makes sense to include something small for her as well...even just to let her know that you respect her. Just make sure you don't send anything romantic - or anything that would put pressure on her for a response or an emotion that she's not ready to share/feel/receive/etc.
I'm glad that you're looking more into detachment - it's vital - and will help you in some profound ways.
