SadGirl - if you do a Google search on GIMP you can download a free fee web based program that mirrors Photoshop. It is actually quite robust and a nice alternative to PS with many of the same features.
If you are unsure how to use all the GIMP features you can Google "free GIMP tutorials" (there are tons out there).
Arrrrgh! Why does he keep whining to me about his miserable life?! He chose this life!!!
Why do I care?
Should I ignore him?
Because he doesn't know what he wants anymore. That's what happens when fantasy meets reality, the picture he painted in his head isn't what manifested in his real life - sucks to be him.
You care because you have big heart and you love this guy, you also care because human nature dictates that we want what we can't have (you want him but you can't have him).
Should you ignore him? Yeah but I thinkhim because I can't I would ask the question "Can you ignore him? Are you able to do that?"
Yes! I do want him partly because I can't have him. P!sses me off!
I am going to try harder! I need a middle ground between pansy a$$ and hard a$$.
Any thoughts on why they tell us, CG? Surely there are other people they could complain to.
I was going to suggest that he find someone else to help him, but I was advised against it.
Notice that something in you told you that possibly you should go down a different route than you've been travelling but since that is new and you're not cognizant of the type of results it would produce, you chose the more "comfortable" route (comfortable is a relative term) and continued doing what you normally do.
He tells you his problems because when it comes to you, he knows he can pull on this heart strings of yours and get some support. People who USE people routinely do this.
I'm going to suggest to you to suggest to HIM to find someone else to help him.
But that's just my suggestion ;-)
Here is the rub, Rob. I don't feel used because he's the kids' dad, and it's his money anyway. Well, sort of...
Caring about his suffering is a 180 for me. The old me would have said...that's what you get.
After work came 2 minues later, because He IMMEDIATELY replied and asked who took the picture of the one on my lower back. He also asked who I was sending it to.
Nope, not gonna tell him.
Gno-General's Warning: When playing with matches & gasoline prepare for the possibility of being burnt.
SG, you know your H, his values and what that path could lead to. I'm not discouraging you, just advising you to be able to handle the fallout if it happens.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
The thing is you can't really base your OWN actions on a potential reaction from somebody else.
If he decides to make his W and children suffer from a financial standpoint then he is simply a cruel person and it is doubtful there is anything you can do (between the two of you I mean, by all means get an attny if that starts to happen) to MAKE somebody not be vindictive.
Arrrrgh! Why does he keep whining to me about his miserable life?!
Who cares?
Originally Posted By: Sad Girl
He chose this life!!!
Yep. So let him live it... along with all the consequences.
Originally Posted By: Sad Girl
Why do I care?
Because you love your kids and deep down inside you still love him.
Originally Posted By: Sad Girl
Should I ignore him?
What do you think?
Me...Kind of... him t I'm trying.
Yes, and sadly, he knows it. end to I think I am turning into a big sappy loser, which is a 180 for me, so yay!
Well if that's what you're turning into, then you know what you were originally, any chance of that sexy lady coming back to town?
Yeah, sure...how? I'm looking better than ever. I'm actually nice. I have listened to him talk about boring crap. Short of making a move on him, what can I do?
CityG SadG has said her H is being more than fair with respect to the financial support. Her problem is to find the correct wording when communicating with him so that he does not take offense and continues to live up to his parental obligations.
Note: Not once has he ever said to her that he will stop supporting the children or threatened to cut off financial support.
This all boils down to COMMUNICATION.
On a lighter note... we have City Girl and Sad Girl here... I'm waiting for Bad Girl and Mad Girl to make their appearances.
...OMG! I can't imagine having to hear about a GF. My H complains finances. I know he does it because he knows I'll help. I need to work harder on that.
Work with the information you have here, you know something specific to him, make use of it.
Make yourself scarce.
When are you going to be ready to become the WAW in this situation? It's 2010, new year, brand new start, new ways of looking at & doing things, etc. J but anuary is still young, good time to start would be today.
Little secret, your H still has an emotional connection to you, he makes use of it to his advantage and to your disadvantage, you could turn this around.
I am trying to be a WAW, but I am seeing no signs of caring from him. It's frustrating!!
Yeah, sure...how? I'm looking better than ever. I'm actually nice. I have listened to him talk about boring crap. Short of making a move on him, what can I do?
Why don't you share with the folks here what I've suggested to you in the "alt"? Let's see where the debate will go...
