New to this Community seeking advice

[MichelleLT]

Are you sending things for the kids? If so, a gift/card might be appropriate. Speaking from a woman's perspective, chocolate is always good lol.

DBing is about doing what works. Pursuing and R talks are taboo because they pretty much never work. Being romantic or making a gesture which shows the door is still open CAN work. Doing nice things with no expectations is okay (especially in your situation where you aren't dealing with an OM).

If you do decide to send a card, you have to do it with no expectations. Do it because you want to, not because you are hoping for some instant change of heart. And send something that is appropriate to the R you currently have - separated parents.

What will happen if you don't? She will either notice that you didn't and feel hurt (either for herself or because you got stuff for the kids and she was left out), or notice and not be hurt because after being S so long she doesn't expect things from you. She might not notice, although I doubt that. If you do, she will possibly feel pressured (although it definitely is less pressure when it comes with stuff for the kids too, plus there is no response required), or might really like it.