Need Wise DB Help!! Joint MC session in 2 days.

[rop]

missherlove - I think it is a powerful speech.
Maybe, try not to look too upset or angry. Just sad for what happened but as relaxed as possible. I think you must have the situation under control.
Good luck, be strong.

[MHL]

Thanks, MO3, I don't know what is going to happen. My W is a red head (actually strawberry blonde) but she gets angry fast. I am hoping that 2 IC's will keep her in check, I actually in a tought loving way hope to leave there while she is breaking down in an uncontrolable crying fit. She really needs to feel the loss of me. I have not made her feel that but one time before back in July, she got all depressed and I tried to console her and she totally manipulated me, pretty much had me by the bells if you know what I mean. I will post tomorrow after the session.

[MHL]

Thanks again rop, I feel like I am in control (bad word to use around my wife). I do know this as soon as I think I have control, God somehow reminds me that He is in control and knocks the rug out from under me. I am going into tomorrow like a boy scout, PREPARED for anything and say a prayer. If anyone is out there tomorrow and wants to throw up a prayer for me & my W & my kids, the MC session is at 12 noon tomorrow EST. Leaving emotions in the car and Mr. Cool Cucumber is going into the MC. The plan from the DB counselor is that I am in there no more than ten minutes, that will cost me approxiamately $8 per minute.
Signing off for now, big day ahead, got to get some ZZZZ's.

Thanks and Love to all my fellow DBer's.

[MHL]

Today is the big day, 3 hrs til I drop the rope, a little nervous, nothing xanax won't take care of. My two biggest concerns are getting emotional and being prepared for my W's reaction no matter what it is. I don't think either IC will say much, but I don't care what they say, they IMO have successfully killed our M.

[mindfull]

missherlove... just read through your sitch.

IMO, I'd be more concerned about how your D13 is being affected by this, than anything else. If it were me, I'd take the focus off of W and your M/R, and help this little girl/almost a young woman deal with the fact that her mom has admitted sexual activity with multiple men, while being married to her Dad.

And, you need to protect her from that kind of talk.

And, you need to protect her from seeing stuff on your computers that SHOW this kind of activity to her.

I'm sorry, but I have a D18, and I know what D13' evolve to.

I know you're doing your best, and I give you a ton of credit, but protect those kids from their Mom's lifestyle FIRST. Deal w/you and your wife once you get that under control.

Good Luck today. I like your speech!

[motherof3]

Just sent up a prayer for you. You are not alone in that room. The big G from above is with you too.

[MHL]

Okay, I am back from the MC session and I am alive. Xanax kicked in perfectly. Pretty much read exactly what I wrote, distributed the pictures. I was accused of bashing my wife and her IC agreed, no surprise there. My IC said that I was less than calm and civil. We all talked a little further about some boundries, mostly about her lying, nothing that was a big deal. My wife did not break down, she got mad but I don't think she was as mad as she usually gets. I think that she now thinks, "I am free", I think this will go to D, but who knows but I am going to stop talking about the possibility of her coming back b/c I don't think that is part of GALing and moving on. The only time there was contention is when she lied about not being able to call Sunday night and speak with our S9 in order to say goodnite. I told her to stop lying that it was a form of verbal abuse and that I will not stand for it. The IC's couldn't believe it, of course they ran to her defense. After that my IC wanted to see me separately which I agreed to. I reinforced with him my decision that the marriage was over and that no woman wants to be with a man she does not respect. I told him that today I started demanding respect from the people around me.
I feel good right now and there is no emotion of loss or regret for what I said, it is time to get on with my life and forget about my W. If she comes back and changes her mind one day I will deal with it then. I have the kids, I have the house she has nothing. The only thing I have to do next is get through the sep agreement.

Thank you to everyone for the support, I hope I can return more than I have received on these boards.

[dwinter82]

Nice Work. I agree with Mindful on D13 (you already know this) but she is more important than you W right now. Family C??

Not to make light of the situation (or maybe I am) but it would have been wife bashing only if you had drawn a mustache above her upper lip and the distrubuted the pics...LOL.

moving forward...

[MHL]

Thanks DW, laughter helps, I am where you are at in that I am going to be in wait an see mode for a long time. I can't dwell on M or my W. I need to focus on kids, job, Me. I basically have to forget about her, it will be a mindgame for sure. Thanks again for the support.

As far as your sitch goes I would not discuss her introducing OM to the kids. Lay low on that one, I have a feeling my sitch will catch up to yours in 6 months. More tonight.